Students, Seniors Forge Friendships Across Generations

Anabelle Sanchez and Margot Kielhorn may be entering different chapters in life, but they share an uncommon bond.

A first-year student at Michigan State University adjusting to life away from home, Sanchez wanted to broaden her circle of friends beyond campus. Kielhorn, a retired editor formerly with the MSU Press, missed the energy and fresh perspectives that student workers had brought to her daily life.

The two had an “instant connection” when they met through an MSU program that pairs students with older adults, said Kielhorn, 74. Sanchez, 18, enjoys meeting Kielhorn for coffee and conversation.

Their intergenerational friendship is one of many formed as part of Generations Connect, a collaboration between the MSU Social Science Scholars Program, MSU’s AgeAlive, and Prime Time Seniors Program of East Lansing.

Melissa Fore, who coordinates community outreach and engagement activities with MSU’s Social Science Scholars Program, pairs students and seniors based on their interests. While the initial goal of the program was to combat loneliness and isolation among older adults, organizers quickly realized that both seniors and students benefit on multiple levels.

At a recent Generations Connect gathering, Fore watched as participants laughed, did crafts, shared stories, and reminisced about times spent together. “I am overjoyed at the beauty of these intergenerational interactions. Knowing that the students leave these relationships better people for knowing their senior match makes me happy,” she said.

Fore divides her time between the Social Science Scholars Program and James Madison College, where she directs the JMC Writing Center and teaches first-year writing courses that focus on broadening students’ understanding of identities, including race, class, gender, and sexuality.

“In my teaching, I try to foster an appreciation for multiple voices and perspectives. When students read personal narratives or watch films that broaden their understanding of identity and community, it improves our campus climate” Fore said. “I think the more people we can connect, the more stories we can share around values of welcoming and inclusion, the more we create a community of belonging.”

A ‘Lifeline’ for Both Students and Seniors

The idea for Generations Connect, formerly called Senior Ambassadors, originated with John Waller, founder and director of the Social Science Scholars Program. The Scholars program recruits cohorts of incoming freshmen and rising sophomores who seek to learn in small groups, conduct research, develop close relationships with faculty, and participate in leadership and service on and off campus.

During a sabbatical in the United Kingdom in 2019, Waller learned about a charity that sought to address a growing epidemic of loneliness among the elderly.

After he returned to MSU, he mentioned the idea to his colleague Jenn Arbogast, who introduced him to Clare Luz, then director of AgeAlive. He proposed the idea of linking Social Science Scholars and local seniors. Luz connected him with the Prime Time Seniors Program in East Lansing, a well-established community partner.

“They were absolutely on board straightaway,” he recalled. Prime Time hosted meetings with the Scholars program and AgeAlive and helped design the initiative, bringing the voices of older adults into the planning from the beginning. Senior representatives continue to serve on the Generations Connect board.

Lisa Richey, former program manager at Prime Time, remembers the initial meeting. “It was an opportunity to do something intergenerational, so we were excited about that,” recalled Richey, who is now acting director of AgeAlive.

When the COVID-19 pandemic hit, the student-senior pairs began meeting virtually. The meetings became a “lifeline”—for both seniors and students, Richey recalled.

“I think people associate loneliness and social isolation with older adults,” she said. But during the pandemic, “The students were having their own really dramatic experience of social isolation and loneliness.”

As pandemic restrictions eased, the program has continued to grow. Loneliness remains an issue in a society where adult children often live in a different city or state than their parents, but many who sign up are not necessarily lonely, but seek simply to form new connections, Waller said.

Cultivating Kindness

Generations Connect recently became a registered student organization open to all, but its roots are with the Social Science Scholars Program. The Scholars often are the first to sign up, Fore said. “They want to give back,” she said. “They are genuinely invested in making the community a better place.”

The Social Science Scholars represent diverse majors and backgrounds, but they share a passion for both scholarship and service. “When we recruit students, one of the things we look for is service work and kindness,” Fore said. Several exceptional Social Science Scholars were instrumental in getting the program off the ground and the members of new cohorts provide invaluable assistance, Waller said.

Participating in projects like Generations Connect aligns with the goals of the Social Science Scholars Program, Waller said. "We want students in the program who are socially aware, socially conscious—but also to be learning things that are unlikely to be imparted in the classroom,” he said.

Generations Connect also “cultivates kindness,” Waller said. “It takes, above all else, being kind to thrive in a program like this. The eagerness to listen to somebody else, to see the world from their point of view, to invest in their lives while they’re investing in yours. It seems to me to be one of the most important things you can learn in any kind of community endeavor."

Lasting Friendships

Fore marvels at the depth of the friendships students and seniors have formed.

She shares the story of Irv, in his 90s, and Shweta. Irv gave Shweta tips when she was learning to drive and attended her graduation; she still goes to his birthday parties. Another student, Macken, was paired with Waller’s mother-in-law, Penny. Her encouragement gave him the boost he needed to apply for an international fellowship—which he landed.

Then there is Eleanor Pugh, who readily agreed when Fore asked her if she would consider being paired with a person with dementia. Now a sophomore, she continues to visit Eleanor Marazita, 91, regularly, with Eleanor’s daughter Elizabeth present.

Eleanor, who is studying international relations with a major in geography, said she enjoys hearing about the elder Eleanor’s travels—she visited 140 countries after raising her seven children while teaching high school and hosting exchange students.

“Eleanor has a grace about her that is far beyond her years,” Elizabeth said. “Not everyone sees my mother. And Eleanor does.”

Margot and Anabelle reflected on their friendship as a pot of jambalaya simmered on the stove for Sunday dinner at Kielhorn’s house. Spending time with Margot has helped her find her footing as she navigates her first year of college away from home in Chicago, Anabelle said. “It makes the world feel smaller knowing there are people [nearby]—people you consider to be family as well.”

Margot has enjoyed getting to know Anabelle, who is pursuing a double major in political theory and constitutional democracy along with public policy. When Kamala Harris came to MSU for a rally in the days before the election, Anabelle staked out a spot in line early and encouraged Margot to join her. “She was so enthused about the whole thing,” said Margot, whose friends had canceled at the last minute. “That really fired me up too, seeing how excited she was.”

As a Social Science Scholar, Anabelle appreciates Margot’s perspective, which she says has deepened her learning experience at MSU. “You gain a lot of insight in life,” said Anabelle, who values relationships with people of different ages. “Talking with Margot—she is just another friend to me. It’s just such a wonderful bond to have.”